please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
