areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
