so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You are a genius and a whore.
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