i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
