i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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