Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
bring money and cleavage
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
