I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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