Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
