My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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