we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
