Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
