Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
