even my farts smell like vagina
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
