On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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