so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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