Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
