Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Bring me that man meat
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
