8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
