i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize