3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Drunk is not a location!
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