shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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