Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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