i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
