She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
