i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
