So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
