Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
