Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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