I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
