I wish I could punch you in the face.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
