Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
