I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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