I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
