LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
