Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i came on her dog
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
