They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
