Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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