i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
