I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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