I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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