soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize