hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
