We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
