Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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