Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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