Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
