Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
