just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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