Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
