So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
