who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just want nice things and good sex
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
