Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
