Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
