We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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