then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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