Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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