I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
