So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
