There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
