i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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