Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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