I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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