I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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