I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
