pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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