I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
